Together, there's nothing we can't draw.

I went to my first wedding in a few year's and it was a wonderful reminder that a) all families are weird, complex and unique and b) witnessing the milestone of marriage is an honor to be a part of. 

Our friend M and his beautiful bride, A shared their union under a several hundred year old oak tree on a generations old farm with a hundred or so of their closest friends and family traipsing in from quite literally across the globe. There were a few things that stuck out to me amidst the celebration:

• This wedding hosted an accumulation of people from all walks. From the hippie-dippie guy living out of his van chasing waves to some very well to do'er's calling the center of NYC their home. Which I think speaks to the caliber of the people getting married to call all these interesting people their intimates. 
• With such an interesting amalgamation of people together, it was also a reminder that real life is complex and digital platforms don't show the real-ness. For such a beautiful gathering, there's always an undercurrent of other emotions. It's impossible to not catch snippets of conversation and behavior - I think big events such as this bring out some deep seated feelings (good and bad) and it's always interesting to see how they present themselves. Passing the couple that isn't engaged, but clearly one of the members of that relationship wants to be. The single lady that already has a half drunk bottle of champagne in her hand before the reception has even kicked off. The glazed over stare of the parents that are tired and having to chase after their kids in a large open area. The parent that is making a slightly passive aggressive comment about the weight of the financial load for the party... real life is a spectrum and it was a good reminder to take life in all its forms, because that what makes our experiences richer, truer. 
• Attend a wedding of two people who truly love each other and are making the commitment to do so for a portion of their living years - you can't help but bask in the warm glow of love. 

In this blog post I share one of my firmly help beliefs, we are not meant to go at this life alone. That doesn't mean having a spouse, it means that we are meant to hold space in our hearts and our lives for others. Whomever that person(s) is to you - a friend, a companion, a partner. But as I shared above, the real aspects of life are not unilaterally one thing, they are varied and complex made more interesting by their diversity. This means that romance, connection, love is also not just rainbows, sunshine, and passions ignited. Love is nuanced. 

Which leads me to my main takeaway; romance and connection take work. It takes work to choose the people you share your heart with, because we are not 100%, 24/7, 365 days out of the year. It's hard to come to your child with love when they are hitting you. It's hard to show up with love when your partner does something that annoys you. It's hard to embrace your friend who is doing things you find disappointing. And if you're an empath, it's even harder because you feel all of these things, it's much harder to separate your own energy from theirs. 

However, it's worth the monumental effort to come back to connection. Because in our connections, we learn more about our capacity to give and receive love in all its nuanced forms.

I say this in many different ways, but I have lots of wishes. One of my wishes for you, is that you see yourself as loving and deserving of love in return. I want you to know that you are in this world for a reason and that reason isn't so that you shine your unique self in a silo, but expansively - massively. This is your reminder that you can give yourself that permission to do so, if you haven't already. 

I leave you today with this; In M's vows to A, he wrote a short poem. 

Straight line meets squiggle. Together, there's nothing we can't draw. 

Love, Your Coach - Erica