Calendar Management, Calendaring, AKA Planning Even When the Plan Doesn't Go To Plan

Calendar Management, Calendaring, Schedule Planning... there are a million and one ways to say 'I'm going to be pro-active with my calendar and plan for my future life.' 

The perceived problem with this approach is that, unless you are really pro-active and get a nicely laid out plan put together for the day/week/month ahead - we know what inevitably happens. Shit hits the fan, things get sidetracked and then your wonderfully laid out plans become a weapon against you. The in writing version of 'you SHOULD have done this thing, BUT you didn't.' 

It stings. And since I know you're a go-getter - this is a blatant slap in our faces (metaphorically speaking), and then an activity that was supposed to bring us relief/joy/accomplishment/satisfaction promptly gets actively avoided because who wants constant reminders that we're not living our best selves every second of every day? No one. 

HOWEVER - Now that I've laid out the self sabotage thinking that leads to throwing our hands up and saying F* this when being proactive on planning. Let me tell you why this thinking is a saboteur to our future selves and why planning, even when the plan doesn't go to plan, is still worthy of our efforts in 2 points.

1) We're Human - We are not perfect, our energies fluctuate, life happens and things come up. More important things. Is anyone tapping you on the shoulder and saying "Umm, excuse me Ma'am, you didn't get to all the laundry and errands you had planned today even though you ended up in Urgent Care - shame on you Missy!" No. And if your best friend called you lamenting her day it's more likely that you would tell her. "Damn girl, you've had a hard day - can I drop off some take-out and bring over wine." The dialog in your head should be as if you are speaking to your best friend, because at the end of the day - there is no one who are our biggest advocates, than ourselves. 

2) "The Best Way to Predict the Future is to Create It" - Peter Drucker said it best (in my opinion). If we throw up our hands and let life just come at us we are operating reactively, every single day. Let me repeat that - your nervous system is being reactive, every single day. These minor stressors may not seem like a lot, but being constantly at the whim of the worlds forces doesn't set up us for success on being proactive in getting more of what we want. 

To illustrate my case - Which day would you rather go through?

Day A 
AM:

• Wake up to your toddler knocking about the hallway heading towards your door
• Gathering him/her up and moving straight into getting them breakfast and getting their lunch together for daycare 
• It's time to get out the door and you realize you're still in your pj's, wishing for another coffee for the road, wrangling said toddler into their carseat and just sighing with resignation that you'll deal with yourself after drop off
• Getting home, your boss and co-workers are already pinging for work related items. You quickly put some of your toddlers leftover breakfast into your own face, get that second cup of coffee and splash some water onto your face to at least wake up a bit
• Work til lunch, responding to whatever comes your way for your job

PM: 

• Throw some leftovers on a plate - eat quickly
• Jump into the second half of your work day 
• Change into stretchy work-out clothes to at least appear like you weren't in your pj's all day - hop in the car and go grab your kiddo(s) from daycare 
• Get some snacks going, half pay attention to your kid while you're semi-responsive to work pings for the remainder of the day 
• Realize it's now almost dinnertime and take a scan of your pantry and fridge to see what you can put on the table quickly and with as little effort as possible 
• Eat dinner, have a glass or two of wine to unwind and watch yet another disney movie before putting your kid(s) down for the night 
• Do a quick clean up, throw a much needed load of laundry in and watch an adult show with your husband and call it a day complete

- - - 

Day B 
AM:

• Wake up to the calm of a quiet house where you promptly meditate/take your time waking up for 10 minutes 
• Spend 15 minutes getting dressed and ready for the day in clothes that make you feel good
• Greet your toddler as they come sleepily out of their room
• Move into breakfast, coffee and making lunch while chatting happily away with them about what they are going to look forward to at school today
• Get them dressed, grab your second cup of coffee, strap them into their car seat and head to school 
• Take 10 minutes to look at your calendar see what is on your to-do's, your meetings, and when you scheduled time to take a few breaks throughout the day
• Fill up your water bottle and dig into your laid out day

PM: 

• Take your actual lunch hour - eat leftovers and throw in something green for good measure, fill up your water bottle
• Spend 15 minutes focusing on personal to-do's (examples are; taking a walk, following up with personal emails, checking your finances, purchase birthday party gift for an upcoming birthday, prep for dinner)
• Take 10 minutes to look at your calendar to see remaining to-do's, meetings, etc and jump into the second half of your work day 
• Hop in the car and go grab your kiddo(s) from daycare 
• Get some snacks going, and spend part of the afternoon baking with your kid(s) for fun 
• Pull pre-prepped dinner out and finish up getting that on the table 
• Eat dinner, have a glass of wine and watch yet another disney movie before putting your kid(s) down for the night 
• Do a quick clean up, watch an adult show with your husband, prep for anything that is coming tomorrow (for example; get work-out clothes out, set alarm for tomorrow, put anything next to your keys so that you're not rushing around in the morning, etc.)
• Journal, read in bed, and be asleep within a reasonable hour

Here's a few questions to ask yourself about these two examples - 

1. When did you take a break?
2. How much water did you drink?
3. Did you feel empowered about your day ahead or resigned to just getting through?
4. Did you feel overwhelmed/anxious by the things that didn't get done?
5. Did you feel like you were connected to yourself, your spouse/partner, your kids? 

These examples (hopefully) feel like a pretty average day for you. We have all had both days - some days feel more like a flow, and others do feel like a slog. What I want to illustrate in both examples of the days above (and it's an inconvenient truth here) that both days had choices of how we showed up. But here's the main difference between these days - Day B had more flow, because you spent time planning for your success and committed to seeing it through, because past you knew future you would appreciate this effort! 

Setting ourselves up for this type of success doesn't happen overnight and committing to spending time on our future selves is just that - a commitment. 

Here's my top-line guide of how to set yourself up for success on a weekly basis, even if your plans don't go as planned ;). 

1. Set aside time each week to look at your week ahead - this can be anywhere from 20 minutes to more (depending on how much time you have and how in-depth you want to get). 
2. Write down/type out all the things that are living on your head - what needs to get done, what do you want to get done/do, what do you need to start planning/accomplishing for the month ahead (i.e. it's November and you want to get ahead of ordering Christmas presents). Keep this list in a consistent place whether that be a beloved notebook or google doc. I personally use Google Keep as it's an app on my phone and is connected to my calendar! Label this your 'Parking Lot.' 
   1. As your week progresses, and things come up - drop your notes/ideas/thoughts into your 'Parking Lot' so that you have all your thoughts collated in one place. 
3. Jog down the meals you want to have the next week - and based upon the recipes, pull together a grocery list. Again, I use google keep and have a note called 'Grocery.' I type in all the groceries I am going to need for the week ahead and I usually text my husband asking if there is anything food/household wise that he needs/wants before I go and place my grocery order for pick-up. Yes, I order my groceries on-line and schedule a date and time to go and pick them up after dropping off my son at daycare (since it's on the way home). 
4. Lastly, I refer to my parking lot, my normal schedule and the things I am already committed to (whether that be an exercise class, a work meeting, etc.) and I task out what needs to get done, what I want to get done and leave time blocks to rest/take breaks/check-in with myself during my day. 
    

This practice is easy in theory, but takes concerted effort in wrangling all the miscellaneous aspects of our lives. However, I can attest that with practice this becomes easier and more routine. Also, the benefits of flowing into your days with a guide on what you want to do (because you've already laid it out) is profound. 

Now, what happens when something comes up and your plan goes off course? 

You adjust, you pivot, you ditch or move the least important things and focus on what is actually important. You don't throw the whole calendar out - you move your pieces around til the schedule works for the new parameters that have been put upon you. As a friend likes to remind me, "a tool is just a tool - it's up to you how you use it." Our calendars are just that, tools. When we let our tools 'should us' into shame, we're letting that happen. But there's no reason to shame ourselves out of success. Take a breath, look at your week and ask yourself 'if my best friend was in this position, what would I tell her to do?' And do that. 

Want more tips on productivity and automating your life? Read this blog here for my list of ways that I automate my life to get more of my energy and time back to put towards things I want to do!